Greg Harden: Recalling the Impact of Wolverine Counselor and Confidante

The friend who touched stars like Brady, McCarthy and Howard -- as well as Michigan athletes you never heard of -- died Thursday. Let's remember him...

Photo Courtesy of University of Michigan Photography

Greg Harden, beaming on the Michigan sideline during a Sept. 16, 2023 win over Bowling Green at Michigan Stadium, loved the Wolverines and partaking in his mentorship of so many.

By Steve Kornacki

ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Greg Harden was a pat on the back.

He was a reassuring smile.

He was a spirited hug.

He was a completely connected conversation.

He was my friend and co-worker, and a confidante to so many as a Michigan Athletic Department counselor dating back to an invitation from Bo Schembechler in 1986 that lasted with pay until he retired in 2020, and continued until his death Thursday from complications during surgery.

Harden was 75 with the enthusiasm of a young man, the wisdom of an old man, and the ability to impact every man or woman he ever spoke with.

They always say great people will be missed when they die, but in the case of Harden, that somehow doesn’t seem like enough of a farewell.

Others have followed in his counseling footsteps, but nobody will ever replace Harden.

Greg described his work in the following manner: “My real obsession is to convince an individual that they must determine for themselves what sort of man, what sort of woman they want to be. The goal is to make people experts on themselves.”

Harden stressed that you had to realize what your “big picture” view was before focusing on the details of your life, and he did that as a friend.

A friend to so many.

Dave Ablauf, Michigan’s long-time assistant athletic director for football communications, collected comments from many of the Wolverines he touched in a release distributed Friday.

Each and every reaction was special, but one really hit me in the heart. It came from quarterback J.J. McCarthy, the 2024 Minnesota Vikings’ first-round pick who led Michigan to the 2023 national championship and publicly promotes mental health and abolishing the stigma associated with mental illness and challenge.

Here is J.J.’s take:

“To OG,

I can’t even begin to describe the gut wrenching feelings that I am experiencing right now. The intensity of this pain is so immense only due to the impact that you have had on my life. You gave me the courage and belief as we fought hand and hand against the demons that I’ve spent my entire life fighting. You have inspired me by your ability to unconditionally love everyone and everything. No matter how big or small, how significant or insignificant. You inspired me to seek the truth about who I really am, why I am the way I am, and lifting the veil of my limitless potential. Showing me what true freedom feels like as you assisted me in my escape from the cage within my mind. But, most importantly, you told me the things that my ego did not want to hear. Always guiding me to the places within myself that I did not want to confront. Your timeless wisdom, omnipresent sense of humor, and genuine authenticity left lasting impressions on so many hearts that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. Especially mine. I am not the person I am today without you, G. Thank you, for everything. Love you man.

Sincerely, 9

J.J. McCarthy, Michigan Football (2021-23); Minnesota Vikings

When Harden was recognized prior to Saturday’s game on the giant scoreboards, the current Wolverines led the cheering. They were playing for the man so many called “G” against Arkansas State, and “G” T-shirts were worn by many.

He was in our hearts on this day, and will be there forever.

Here’s what Tom Brady had to say upon his passing from this world:

“I’m so sad to hear the news of Greg‘s passing. I’m heartbroken as he was a dear friend and mentor. There are so many beautiful qualities Greg had that endeared him to so many people over his years at Michigan. He meant the world to me and I could never have had the success I had without the time, energy, love and support he had given me. He will be truly missed 

Tom Brady, Michigan Football (1995-99); 7-Time Super Bowl Champion

I wanted to share a chapter from the “Miracle Moments in Michigan Wolverines Football History” (Skyhorse Publishing, NYC, 2018) that was co-authored with my son, Derek, to provide an in-depth glance at Harden’s approach and impact:

Tom Brady: Learning to Believe in Himself:

Tom Brady had to climb the ladder, and it was a definite struggle getting up those rungs. He huffed and puffed and pulled upward with all of his might. But he was having difficulty getting anywhere near that top rung, and sometimes seemed to be reaching in vain.

He started out fifth on the quarterback depth chart at Michigan, and Brady became frustrated that his dreams weren't coming true.

So, he took the advice of a teammate and visited Greg Harden, a counselor in the athletic department who several years earlier had done so much for Desmond Howard's mental approach while he sought to break into the starting lineup. 

"My favorite people are self-referrals," said Harden. "It's the kid who knocks on your door and says, 'I need your help. I heard you could help.' So, Tom (Brady) shows up and says, 'I'm struggling and I refuse to fall apart. And I want to talk to you. I want to be the starting quarterback at Michigan.' "

Harden responded: "Son, there's nothing I can do about that. But I can get you to believe, if no one else believes, that you're the man to do it."

Brady nodded and said, "Let's start there."

He was recovering from acute appendicitis, had lost 20 pounds and dropped out of serious contention for the job he coveted.

"He was borderline depressed and as skinny as a rail," Harden recalled for me in a story I wrote for MGoBlue.com. "He's a tad bit distraught, and we began to talk about how important it was for him to believe in himself even though nobody else was.

"Our whole mission was: 'Tom, all that matters is what you think!' That's all we talked about. And Tom (eventually) got into the starting lineup, but he was anxious and nervous, looking to the sideline, worried about being pulled. I said, 'Son, when are you going to accept that you're the starting quarterback? Stop it! You've got to believe. Make mistakes and make them with enthusiasm -- just don't repeat them.' "

Harden watched closely at games to make sure Brady was broken of the habit of looking toward coaches when he erred. They kept meeting every Friday before games and the pupil continued growing, week after week.

The mentor was ecstatic about what Brady had become, and recalled his greatest moment at Michigan, which came in his final college game.

"His Orange Bowl performance was a signature game," said Harden, "and it's the game you see him playing over and over again in the NFL, where he's just not going to lose. And those cats believed in him, they trusted him, and that was because he had total confidence in himself. When he finishes here, he is clear about who he is, where he is going, and what it will take for him to get there."

Brady led the Wolverines to a 35-34 overtime win over Alabama, throwing for 369 yards and four touchdowns with zero interceptions in the Orange Bowl, and never looked back. When he met first New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, Brady looked Kraft in the eyes and said, 'I'm the best decision this organization has ever made.' "

He believed that deeply in himself despite being a sixth-round pick.

The 199th player selected in back in 2000 won five Super Bowls, more than any quarterback in history, before turning 40, and many consider him the greatest to ever play the position in the NFL. It all began with a belief in himself that has conquered all -- including a 28-3 deficit against the Atlanta Falcons in the Super Bowl on Feb. 5, 2017. Brady threw for a Super Bowl record 466 yards to spearhead a stunning comeback for a 34-28 win.

Incidentally, Howard (Super Bowl MVP in 1997 game for the Green Bay Packers) and Brady (four Super Bowl MVP selections) combine to give Michigan five Super Bowl MVPs, equaling the total of the other 13 schools in the Big Ten combined.

Brady and Howard, whom Harden called "the two most coachable cats I'd ever met," are among the many Wolverines who heard the question from Harden that is at the core of his approach:

"What kind of person do you want to be?"

Examining that question, says Harden, is what allows them to establish self-worth that can't be measured in touchdowns, baskets, goals or speed.

"Imagine telling Tom Brady and Desmond Howard that they've got to decide, with or without football, that life is going to be amazing," said Harden. "What I am suggesting at that moment is that you have got to decide that your life is worth it whether football works or not.

"Then, football no longer becomes the idol god. Instead of being a football player, you become a man who happens to play football, and you just happen to play it better than most. My whole mission is to convince somebody that they are a whole person, and that football is a vehicle that they are to use for self-expression. But their self-worth and self-esteem must not be based on performance."

He calls Brady and Howard "the poster boys" for his work.

Brady recalled his difficult, up-the-ladder climb as a Wolverine prior to the 2013 season, when he addressed the Michigan players in the main team meeting room that's set up just like a large movie theater, with its rows of cushioned seats angled upward from the floor where Brady spoke.

"I didn't have an easy experience," Brady began. "I didn't come in as a top-rated recruit, I didn't come in with an opportunity to play right away, I had to earn it.

"And do you know what the greatest honor I've ever received as a player is? In my fourth year and my fifth year, I was named team captain. That, to this day, is the single greatest achievement I've ever had as a football player.

"Because the men in this room chose me to lead their team. And these were my best friends. These were the guys that knew that I liked to work. That knew that I loved football. That knew that I loved to play. They knew that I wanted to be the quarterback for Michigan."

Brady discussed how important the Michigan program remained to him, his former teammates and to those who came before him. He stressed how each player currently in the Michigan program had a responsibility to everyone else who has "ever worn this helmet".

He told the seniors to cherish their final moments on campus. He told the freshmen to be patient and the underclassmen to seize any opportunity they had in front of them.

And, in conclusion, he quoted Bo Schembechler's mantra.

"Those who stay will be champions," Brady said. "What does that mean to you? It means you stick around, you fight, you work and you do everything you can for each other.

"And you'll be a champion."

Three years later, in Jim Harbaugh's second season as the head coach at their alma mater, Brady returned as an honorary captain for a game and took the field with the current captains for the coin toss. He also talked to the team once again.

"It was basically a chilling speech," Michigan defensive tackle Ryan Glasgow said. "It made the hair on the back of your neck stand up."

Quarterback Wilton Speight added, “It made me realize maybe the greatest quarterback of all time was saying that I represent him. That got me in the mindset that I wanted to go out and play even better than he ever did.”

Harbaugh was asked that day if he felt Brady could one day be his quarterbacks coach. He noted "that would be phenomenal" before jokingly stating, "Head coach here someday. Quarterback coach, coordinator, head coach."

When asked if he would actually step aside for Brady, Harbaugh laughed and added, "For Tom Brady, I will give him a deep, long bow, shake hands and I'll coach the quarterbacks for him."

It was a pretty cool day. The best quarterback Michigan has ever had as a collegiate player -- Harbaugh, who finished third in 1986 Heisman Trophy voting -- and the best quarterback any college has ever had in the NFL got to meet, talk and even play catch prior to the game with Colorado.

“When I look back on my career of playing catch with people, that was right up there with my dad,” Harbaugh said. “Tom has a good arm. He throws such a good ball. That ball almost catches itself. I wish I wouldn’t have given him the wind.”

Brady, who began his NFL career as an unsung backup to Drew Bledsoe, learned how to work his way to the top at Michigan.

There are those who thought, after Brady dropped down that depth chart in his early seasons, and that he might have been better off signing with baseball’s Montreal Expos, who drafted the power-hitting catcher from San Mateo (California) Junipero Serra in the 18th round in 1995. Baseball scouts believed he would have been drafted much higher had it not been for his football scholarship, and they loved his arm and intangibles.

Serra, an all-boys Catholic school located south of San Francisco, is a sports powerhouse. It has produced Barry Bonds, Jim Fregosi, and Gregg Jefferies in baseball, and Lynn Swann in football.

However, the Expos never got into serious negotiations with Brady because he and his parents, Galynn and Tom Sr., had decided they wanted him to go to college.

Brady, though, was not a prep All-America. He was a solid prospect with a strong arm, good touch on his passes, and a great head on his shoulders. So, he was recruited to fill the bill as the quarterback the Wolverines

include in each and every class.

He had definite potential, but there were plenty of players in front of him when he was a freshman in 1995: Scott Dreisbach, Brian Griese, Jason Carr, and Scot Loeffler. Griese and Dreisbach would start in the NFL, but none had the sort of universal acclaim coming out of high school to scare off Brady. Though, Peyton Manning might very well have sent Brady in another direction with another school. Manning made an official visit to Ann Arbor and would have been behind senior Todd Collins as a freshman in 1994 had he selected the Wolverines.

There was also a great player coming in behind Brady—one who received attention that rivaled Manning’s coming out of high school. Drew Henson was considered perhaps the finest quarterback the state of Michigan had ever produced, and the Brighton High three-sport star committed to Coach Lloyd Carr after his junior season of 1996.

Henson also was a baseball superstar. The New York Yankees drafted him in the third round and he played in the minor leagues for them during summers while attending college. That provided Brady an edge in getting to better know his teammates and particularly his receivers in the offseason. He held off the young phenom, and it became his team.

Brady mostly carried a clipboard during the 1997 national championship season, when he played behind Griese. But once he got the reins, Brady went 20–5 as a starter and led the team to a co-Big Ten championship in 1998 and that Orange Bowl win over Alabama in his last game as a Wolverine.

Brady put up solid numbers in his final two seasons, passing for 5,222 yards and 35 touchdowns, but the best honor he could manage was honorable mention all-conference in 1999. If you are looking for a quality sports trivia question, ask for the name of the Big Ten’s first-team quarterback selected ahead of both Brady and Drew Brees in 1999. The All-Big Ten first-team quarterback on teams voted upon by both the coaches and the media that year was Ohio State’s Joe Germaine. The second-team choice was Purdue’s Brees, who also became an NFL superstar with the New Orleans Saints.

Brady had succeeded. After knocking on Harden's door and proclaiming that he wanted "to be the starting quarterback," he learned to believe in himself, and in turn his coaches and teammates believed in him.

That belief became the foundation for everything Thomas Edward Brady Jr., accomplished for the Wolverines and then the Patriots. It set his greatness in motion.